Some days I feel like giving up. Is everything worth it? Is this really what I want to be doing with my life? I just get a little melancholic, and I feel trapped. I guess it’s a little odd for me to feel trapped because it’s not like my parents or anyone else forced me to come to college. I choose my major, and I’ve chosen what I want out of life. Still…some days I find myself wondering if all this hard work will pay off.

Am I doing enough? Should I work harder? I know I have the potential to do better, but I just can’t seem to motivate myself fully either. All these thoughts and emotions plague and overcome me. Why can’t I do better? Why can’t I try harder? It’s frustrating. It’s too much sometimes. Some days I just feel like disappearing. I just want to be gone. 

I’m not saying that I’m suicidal or anything like that, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I want a concrete break. A week is not enough. I want maybe a year to go out and do crazy shit, but I know I can’t afford to take a year off right now-not in the middle of my degree. It’s just so suffocating sometimes. I feel like I’m drowning. I feel like I’m losing myself. I feel empty and devoid. It’s hard to explain…I just…I don’t know. I don’t even know what I want some days. I don’t know where I am going, and that seriously scares me. 

~Timafa12~

I don’t know what the future will bring, I don’t know where I will end up, and that is the scariest part of my life right now-the uncertainty.