I have moments where I feel like writing something and expressing feelings, but I almost always stop myself because I need to be doing work. This spring semester has basically been me studying. It’s been a long hard-kind of depressing-road. I’m kind of proud of myself because I know that I can do better. The more work I put into studying the better I end up doing in my classes. It’s just nice to see that my grades are much much better.

I calmed down this semester a lot. I feel like this has to do more with the classes I am taking. Seriously it’s been so hard to keep on track. I’ve managed, but I know that I can still do much much better. It’s just hard for me to apply myself because I’ve had such horrible studying habits. They are at least slowly getting better.

I kind of have been putting myself out there a little more. It’s hard because I’m just so used to taking the back seat on things. I don’t know I just feel like I tend to comply to things just so that there won’t be any more trouble. I shove my opinions and my views to the bottom because I would rather not get into a heated argument. I think it’s interesting to see myself in a different way-that is when I actually speak up. It’s a nice change though because this more “outgoing” person won’t let herself be stepped on.

I’m kind of getting anxious about graduating-hopefully I will graduate on time. I’m used to coming to school out of state, so I feel that when I move back home I will get tired. I’ll miss winter. I’ll miss the snow. I’ll miss the outgoing friends I have made. It’s kind of depressing because I love New York, and I don’t want to leave it behind. I know my family is expecting me back, but I don’t really want to go back. It’s hard, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to just go back home like that. I don’t know. I still have one more year left.

I used to be in band in high school. I did marching band, and when I came to college I joined the pep band and the orchestra here. It was a disappointment. The pep band didn’t care about tuning and sound quality, and it’s hard to let go of that when you’ve been taught to listen. I just couldn’t deal with the cacophony, and I ended up quitting. In orchestra it was a much nicer sound, but the size was disappointing. I’m definitely not used to being the only flute player, and I’m not that great of a player to think that I can handle that sort of responsibility. I ended up quitting that as well, but mostly because they demanded a lot of my time. I found it hard to balance with school. Now that I haven’t played in a year, I find that I really really miss it. I convinced myself to try to perform on my own time. I want to make myself a better player. I know it will be hard to stay with a plan, but I really love music. I think it will be worth it.

This year has been very stressful. A lot of things have changed. One of my favorite mangas ended (I’m talking about Naruto). I’m a huge huge fan, and it was heart-wrenching to see it end because I have been following since I was in middle school. I’m happy though because they made a pretty good movie, and there will be a mini-series that will begin to be released in late April. I’m also excited because Digimon is coming back with the original characters. Then there are the Naruto light novels that are being published, and the new movie that will be coming out this summer. It’s nice to know that the series of Naruto hasn’t been completely finished.

Anyway this was a lot random rambling, but it was nice to get something out-considering I hadn’t published anything in a very long time. I always say that I will try to keep up, but this time I will definitely try to at least update monthly. That seems like a pretty logical thing to do. Until next time.

~Timafa12~

Things will never end as long as they stay with us in our hearts.