We are all human-breakable, fleeting, and fragile. We strive to be our best. We fight to be better. We conquer, we plunder, and we all eventually come to an end. Some of us perish much sooner than others. Disease, murder, self-loathing….we are filled with incomprehensible thoughts and emotions. We are all insecure, and we have moments of weakness. No one is perfect. No one is invincible. We are all trying to live life to the fullest. We are all trying to survive, but there will be an end- no matter how much we may wish to delay it. Will we be forgotten? Will we be remembered? It is up to us what we do with our life. It is up to us to help or to destroy. In the end we make our own choices….we make our own lives-whether they are lived with selflessness or vanity. In the end our life will be our own. Our choices will make us. Our choices will define us. Our teachings will inspire. Our family and friends will remember. So make an impact, and stop sitting on the sidelines. Stop being controlled. Strive for the best, and never give up on yourself. There may be rough patches up ahead, but you must remember that life was made to be conquered, to be taimed. Make life your own being-your own self. Live as you see fit, and make the right choices. There may be a couple mistakes once in a while, but that’s to be expected. The thing to remember is to keep on going. Keep on fighting! Strive for your dreams and your goals because there are so many out there that don’t have a chance to reach them. Fight for yourself, but remember to fight for others as well. Cherish the small things, and remember to love because what is life without loving?
Tag Archive: Death
I’m a complete mess. There’s no point in denying it any longer. I feel trapped. I feel replaceable. I feel useless. I feel too many things, and my escape, my reprieve is the fact that I know that there are people out there that love me. Even when I feel like shit or when I feel like that there is nothing in the world that is as worthless as me, I know that there are people that care for me. Somewhere in the back of my mind that single thought pulls me through.
I’ve had thoughts of suicide. Simple thoughts-not concurrent enough to be plans. Death is so easy to achieve if you really want it. A simple cut can end life, a dosage of one too many pills, an accidental knock to the head, and it would be so simple to let go-to be free. But what would be the point in that? What would be the point in escaping? It’s the easy way out. It’s not worth it. It’s the way of a coward. Isn’t life about learning to move on? You’re going to fall. You’re going to break. You’re going to suffer pain beyond what you thought was possible. I know I’ve been through lots of insecurities, self-doubts, and moments of unclear judgement, but things get easier. One day you realize that you want to achieve your dreams, your goals, and your realities.
In order to move on you have to understand that no matter what you go through there is someone always there to help you along the way. A complete stranger can get through if you only let them. There are people out there who care. Not everyone is a selfish bastard. Life is worth living! You can’t give up so easily! Don’t let the insecurities and the scrutinies defeat you because those are just the normal mountains in life. The mountains aren’t easy to overcome, but you can get to the top. Just don’t GIVE UP!
~Timafa12~
“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca
There was a memorial service at school today. My lab partner’s brother died of cancer. The problem is I have only seen her twice, and I barely even know her. I didn’t even find out about her brother dying from her. I found out about her brother’s death through my friend from college, who is friends with my lab partner (they were in the crew team together). I don’t know. My friend was trying to convince me to go because she said she was sure my lab partner would appreciate the concern/support, but at the end I chickened out. Why? Because I didn’t know this person, or the family. I don’t know how I would feel if pretty much a complete stranger showed up to a memorial service for my family member. How would you feel?
My grandma passed away this past summer, and I didn’t even get to go to the memorial service or the burial. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I couldn’t go to my own family member’s memorial service that freaked me out the most because I was about to attend a memorial service for a stranger (and I couldn’t even attend my own family member’s service). Was it selfish? I think it was, but under the circumstances I feel like it was the right thing to do. I don’t know my lab partner well enough, and I don’t want her to freak out and think that I’m pitying or stalking her personal life. If she wants to tell me about stuff like that, then she should be the one to do it. I shouldn’t show up to something so important to the family as a complete stranger.
Would you appreciate anyone showing up to one of your family member’s memorial service? Or would you rather it be people that were close and actually knew your family member? Where would you cross the line?
~Timafa~
Every decision you make is yours to make, whether it’s right or wrong in another persons mind.
I would love comments on how to best improve it 🙂
Suicide is a a big issue in young people. People who commit suicide are confused about their feelings and emotions. There are many phases that people can go throughout when thinking about committing suicide them varying from unusual to common.
Vern R. Andres said,“Suicidologists believe that the leading motives for suicide are a sense of helplessness and hopelessness over some event in the person’s life over which they have no control, such as irreversible physical illness, or anguishing disruption in personal relations with no perceivable positive outcome.” In simpler terms, the person thinking about the suicide feels that there is no other way to end the matter, and they turn things around to accommodate their death as an effect. Suicide is a problem that reoccurs mostly in young adults (teens). Teens want to get the attention of those around them, and they leave hints hoping that someone will help them see how much they are really cared/loved for. Most suicide victims tend to be female because of their lacking availability to retain their strength (they often react, over dramatic). “The suicide threatener is not simply a manipulative person capriciously trying to get attention, but rather is someone who is in so much pain that they have concluded there is no other solution to their problem except a permanent end to pain…death”, says Dr. Andres. There are many steps to take once you’ve concluded that you are indeed suicidal. Stage one, is the resolution stage, where one struggles with moral and ethical issues of suicide. The second stage however, is the initiating phase, which formulates actual plans for the act of suicide. Finally, the last step, is Postponement, which is the relaxing and waiting for the act of suicide. When you are suicidal your mind is intent on thinking about it and only it.
Suitable traits in the process of suicide are unusual periods of sleepiness, sudden changes in appetite, weight, or sexual drive, loss of interests in family, friends, and family pursuits, frequent discussion of death, the wish to die or feelings of worthlessness, sudden unusual interest in death and death rituals, unexplainable or illogically giving away priced possessions, and collecting information on means for suicide. (The Crisis of Suicide) If any of the above are going on to someone close to you it’s best to take them to the hospital to see if things are truly what they seem. Suicidal people feel trapped and emotional this quote is a good way to show how others feel, “Encompass’d with a thousand dangers, weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors…I…in a fleshy tomb, am buried above ground.” (William Cowper) Suicidal People just want to find some comfort, love, acceptance: “In the midst of these squalid, ugly, and such irksome days, they seek at last, finding no comfort, no remedy in this wretched life, to be eased of all by death…to be their own butchers and execute themselves.” Sometimes people just can’t see the beauty that exists in them, and their own painful thoughts trigger things that have never been true. Other forms of a mental illness can contribute to suicidal tendencies. Disorders that have a terrible, confusion, pain, etc. contribute to the developing of suicidal thoughts. “Stretch me out no longer on this rough world.”-Lear. Death is inevitable it happens to all us whether it’s expected or not, it doesn’t take into consideration what you feel or what you want, it can all be over in a blink of an eye.
“O, yet we trust that somehow good will be the final goal of ill, to pangs in nature, sins of will, defects of doubt, and taints of blood.”-Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Many cultures believe that it’s a sin to commit suicide, but how they know how it feels…to be lost, tortured, scared? Suicide is a hard concept it does not just deal with the person committing the act, it deals with everyone in the family no one is left behind; “Suicide is a crisis for the individual, for the family, and for the community. It is a unique kind of death, and the most malignant manifestation of depression.” Self mutilation can be described as another form of suicide or self-destructive behavior. Bengt J Saftsten wrote, “The route lies through suicidal thoughts, suicidal gestures, attempted suicide (where self-starvation and medical non-compliance leads to death).” Your life is yours to control, but is it right for others to stand there and watch you suffer from something that they could have saved you from. Is it alright for them to just have let you out of their grasp so easily? They could have helped, they should have helped, yet they just stood there and watched you tear yourself apart. Or was it your decision to end it, was there really no going back from it? Death, a terrifying powerful word, would you have ended it anyway, even if they had tried to bring you back from your revere.
“You have a choice live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”-Chuck Plalhniuk. Whether you decide to or no the choice is yours, whether you risk such pain for those who care is your burden to bare. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”- Phil Donahue. Suicide can be your answer, but is it really solving anything, is it really changing your world so much? “Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live.”-Charles Caleb Colton Do you think that those that die, due to an incurable disease, don’t deserve your shot at life? Do you really believe that you have such a menacing, cruel, wretched life…what about those who never got the chance? Those who knew they would not make it to be parents or even make it throughout their life in high school. What about those who will never grow up to achieve their goals? Wouldn’t you just rather live for all those young children who will never get the chance to see the light once more?
“Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.”
~Timafa~
**This is only a rough draft**
If I cut my wrists what would you do?
What would you say?
If I died and went away…
Would you cheer and jump for joy?
If I died and you were the reason why…
Would you want to bring me back?
Life is nothing to me now
I want to share the shame, the guilt, the pain
I want to get rid of this treacherous faith
Living with myself
After all those things you said
After everything you’ve done
My spirit crumbled
My soul caved
My time is slowly fading away
I want to be free and fly away
I don’t know were my soul is
I don’t know were my home is
If I were to unfurl myself
What would you see?
Would you see the grief leave me?
If I were to dive and never re-surface
Would you leave me be, then?
If I were to die and leave for eternity
Would you miss me?
Would you want me to come back?
Would you forgive…?
Would I forgive…?
Would you be with me again?
It snowed again today 🙂 We had school, but it’s such a nice atmosphere. Plus we have this “valentines party” today. It looks so beautiful outside. It is really amazing, such purity. Haha yeah I’m weird. I’m excited for tomorrow! 😀 Can’t wait! Anyway I have the song…It might ruin the whole happy-making thing up there ^.
Life In My Eyes
Growing up is just so hard
Feeling trapped since the start
Never wanting always asking
Feeling pain and never stopping
Bleeding arms are a warm welcome
Bleeding hearts were always present
Nothing left from the beggining
Begging, pleading, never winning
(Chorus)
The feelings that you get
That you never want to let out
Are hidden deep within
And one day they will burst out
And make their way to the surface
Never to be locked up again
Nothing ever helped me
Everything was a joke
Friends that left were just a croak
Pain thats with me forevermore
Laughter,grace were things that were never meant to be
Songs and blood are better things for me
Living through a life with no meaning
Doing things I deem demeaning
(Chorus)
Being numb helps me out
All the scars across my skin seem better fitted for me
My life is just a waste of space and time
Nothing was ever good to start
Trapped inside a bubble
No means to escape from the darkness
Feeling of emptyness overwhelms me
Nothing more is left, but sorrow
Everyhting is leaving me behind
(Secondary Chorus2X)
Nothing will ever go right
It will keep being a mess
Everything that was kept
Will be let out so don’t fret
Yeah, everything will come to an end
Everything will burst out and be left
I will be left behind to make it through the shadows
Free from the pain and the sorrow
(Leave me be, let me be free)
Free to die and shrivel up
(Leave me be and die in peace)
I’ll cut my wrists and wait my fall
(Leave me with my annihalation)
All the glory will be mine
(My life is there to be lost)
I hope you like it…maybe 🙂
~Timafa~
Timafa 