It’s Been A While…Again

I’m so bad at keeping up with things, but one thing that I do know is that I will forever come back to blogging-just because it is such a nice thing to do. It helps me organize my thoughts, and all that good stuff. Kind of gives me direction-if I am being completely honest.

I’ve complained about how anti-social I am, and how I was lonely-all that jazz. I’m sure you can find some older blogs where I would talk about the shittiness of being a loner. Yeah, well this fall semester I went out of my comfort zone, and it’s been an interesting experience to say the least.

I’ve made a group of friends, and we hang out religiously-most specifically on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. It’s been a good semester with them. The sad thing is that the semester is almost over, and two of the people in this group of friends are exchange students. One of them is leaving for sure this semester, and the other is unsure if he will be allowed to come back. I’m hoping that everything works out for him because I don’t want to lose him. He’s a good friend.

I’ve experienced so much with this group of friends, and I can’t say I regret being introverted for my first two years of college. It was worth the wait because these friends I made are the truest form of friends. We stick together, and it feels like I have known them my whole life. It’s been an interesting change of pace with them. I am the happiest I have been here, and it’s been an amazing junior year so far.

I study a bit more than I used to, but my study habits are still pretty damn horrible. I’ve gotten better, but it’s still a struggle to study consistently. The homework, the reading, and the tests are just normalcy in my life now, and some days I just don’t want to do anything (most days…yeah most days I don’t want to do anything). I have always felt pressured by family to be the “good” child of the family. The one who gets the good grades. The one who doesn’t go out. The one who can be depended upon to be home at any hour. It’s just exhausting to live up to the expectations.

I was a pretty complacent daughter for a while, but at some point there has to be a breaking point. Sometimes these breaking points work out nicely, but really in reality there is always chaos that reigns. I’ve been experiencing my life as a college student more, and what I mean by this is that I’ve been exploring myself. Yeah, that involves drinking and some other things that I really don’t care to mention, but I’ve been living. It may sound bad, but freedom is something that I’ve been scared to experience because one always hears about the outcomes of bad decisions.

Well when one makes a decision-how does one know if it is a bad or a good decision? If I let my insecurities control me, then how will I grow up? How will I experience my limits? How will I learn to judge? It’s all about making wrong choices, and figuring out what you really want from something/someone. I’m not saying it’s easy to let go of the control, but it’s liberating. I’ve controlled my life. I’ve controlled myself from experiencing things, and I can’t say that it was the best choice. I just want to live more freely from now on-without worrying too much about the outcomes. Of course there will be exceptions, but I’m looking forward to this new outlook.

So if anyone that follows my blog didn’t know…I’m a huge nerd. I turned out this way mostly because most of my cousins and my brother. I used to hang out with them a lot when I was little. I’m like the only girl in the circle, so sometimes I tend to act like a guy in some aspects. My brother had the biggest influence on me though. I learned about video games, music, sports, manga, and anime from my brother. It’s amazing really, but this past week has been a sad week for me.

Naruto-which I have been watching since I was in middle school ended. I was really upset, but I was also extremely happy because my OTP (one true pairing) ended up together. Ever since I started reading Naruto I always wanted Sasuke and Sakura to end up together, and in the end they did. I was extremely happy, and I met some really nice people from this fandom.

What I didn’t enjoy was the aftermath of the last chapter releases. There was a lot of dishing and unpleasantries going on about the end. It was extremely distasteful. I wish people would be more considerate towards others. There were people trying to get Naruto banned because they didn’t like the ending. There were others who were harassing Kishimoto and his assistant. You have a right to be upset if Naruto didn’t end the way you wanted it to, but you have no right to so blatantly disrespect the creator. Without Kishimoto there would be no Naruto in the first place. It’s just frustrating to me how fans can act this way. When you make your own story for over 15 years, then you have the right to end it the way you want. The hate seriously needs to stop.

The last part of the blog was just a little tangent, but yeah…Anyway hopefully I can blog more seriously now. I hope to continue blogging…hopefully more frequently, but I won’t make any promises. I hope everyone has a lovely day.

It wasn’t too bad.

So I took my AP World History test and my AP Spanish Literature test, and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be…honestly. I never read any of the chapters from the history book, except maybe the first 5 or 6. I read the Princeton Review study guide and some ‘cram packets’ that my teacher provided and they really helped me out. The Spanish Lit wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be either 🙂 So my tests went well even if I didn’t study as hard for the Spanish one I thought I did better on it than my World History one.

It’s kind of funny how I leave the weblog entry window up on my computer for daayyss before I actually do something with it, and when I type something up I have to go and change it :/. Well life has been ‘great’ I guess and school is pretty much over. The only thing that is pretty not good right now would be chemistry and algebra. Chemistry because what we are doing in there is sooo gay like we are reviewing for the EOC (end of course exam) using North Carolina sample questions. Like hello we are in TEXAS! NOT NORTH CAROLINA! So I realized that I haven’t been doing to good with blog, and I hope that it can improve because once a month isn’t good at all. The only reason why once a month isn’t good is because sometimes I forget (by that time) what I want to blog about. It’s frustrating keeping up with this blogging business.

My first few blog entries were shaky as I was still pretty surprised about some things that happened around that time. So what if I kind/sort of/maybe exaggerated…I mean I was pretty sure my view on things were the most important, but they kind of weren’t so I learned to let it go. That’s a good thing, right? To let things go.

So I am guessing maybe some of you know that I am a big Naruto fan! I am! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE NARUTO! No I am not joking. Best thing in the world, not really but it’s close enough! So I was re-watching some of the episodes on youtube and I started thinking about destiny. I mean is your destiny really planned out from the beginning? Or is more like you make your own? I don’t know what I think on the subject, maybe you would like to give me your opinion…I would like to blog about it once I have it figured out in my own head. I’ve been a bit sad lately because I am doing this research paper for english and my topic is suicide. (I picked by myself no one made me choose it!) And let’s just say it’s not the happiest thing on the planet. I would like to type it up once it’s finished I hope it’s good!

Oh man so I kind of exited out of the weblog entry tab and I started panicking because I thought that I had lost my whole blog. Well as it turns out in Chrome if you close out a tab that you are not supposed to close and you go to open a new one and if you click on the little button that names the tab that you just closed it gives you everything back. WOW! How cool!! (That sounded ultra, mega, confusing even in my head…)

~Timafa~

Don’t change who you are for those that don’t even see you.